Breastfeeding: Doubt, Trials, Pain, Triumps and Rock Hard Boobs! 

When I was pregnant with Duce I was set on the idea of “Breast is Best!” So I read up a little on breastfeeding, discussed it in pre-baby classes, ordered my breast pump and stayed clear from formula. When Duce was born we did skin to skin the 1st hour and man was it magical. My husband jokes and calls it “Find the Nipple,” as it is when the baby is laid on your stomach/chest and finds the nipple on his own to start nursing/bonding. They smell the milk and make that connection immediately with you as they know you are their source of food and love! After that beautiful moment with Duce, I thought to myself, not THAT bad! It’s so amazing how God has created a woman’s body to provide for her children.

My breastfeeding journey came to a halt when my Ducey Bear had to have open heart surgery. And though I couldn’t nurse him, that didn’t stop my colostrum/milk from coming in. As a matter of fact, while he was having surgery my boobs got rock hard and huge! I started leaking through my gown and had to head back to my room to pump. And that’s when it happened!

I discovered that I was made of MAGIC!! Liquid Gold Magic! When I tell you I had an over supply of milk…it was unbelieveable! I was pumping close to 8-10oz a day his 1st week of life. Since he was in NICU for about 9 days I had over 75oz bottled and frozen in the hospital freezer by the time I left. I was the talk of the floor among the nurses. When we finally got home I had a great stock pile in our freezer started and was still pumping and nursing.

Something in me got so comfortable with pumping that I caught myself using my stock pile more than nursing during the day. It was just more convenient than nursing for me. You know-with everything else going on: taking care of his incisions, to cleaning, cooking, sleeping, etc.

But what I was really avoiding by pumping was that PAIN!! No one told me how painful it would be to nurse! No matter how many lactation specialists came in to work with me or how perfect I had him positioned and his mouth completely covering my nipple, it hurt like HELL!! To the point that I contemplated quitting and just using up my stock pile and exclusively pumping. He would still be getting my milk after all. My husband wasn’t having that though. He reminded me how important it was to nurse Duce for bonding purposes. And even though I wanted to tell him to shut up because he had no idea the pain I was experiencing, he was right. I wasn’t going to tell him that though. Lol 😊
I had to coach myself to get through the toughest first 30 days of nursing my baby boy. “You can do this! You have experienced tougher more painful things! Duce needs this! Do it for him! You are so amazing and made of magic girl! You got this! You were made for this! Enjoy this precious bonding time-it won’t last forever. You can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you!” I even prayed through tough sessions y’all! Whatever it took to get through and feed him. Some may think I’m crazy for enduring the pain, but I quickly learned after Duce was born that parenting is the MOST selfless act you can partake in as a human being on this earth. And I would never let my flesh or pride prevent me from being selfless towards my child.
Every month is a new milestone for me! My goal is to nurse him until he is one. However, I am more focused on taking it one day at a time and celebrating the month to month milestones we’ve reached breastfeeding. I just reached 6 months this past week and I am overjoyed and truly blessed to have been able to provide natural milk for my little boy. I am truly excited to see how the next 6 months go. Keep producing magic mommas! You got this! Philippians 4:13.

~Soli Deo Gloria💜

Copyright © 2017 by Da’Quisha Whitaker
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