Black Moms Can’t❌…Black Moms Don’t🚫…sounds familiar?
3 years ago when my son was born, I had no idea that I would become a stay-at-home mom 6 months later after we decided to relocate to San Antonio. The only thing I was sure of as a new mom was that I was going to breastfeed my baby. Not because I had grown up around women in my family who had nursed their babies, or because I had friends around me who had done the same. It stemmed from me doing research, talking with my husband about our wishes for our children and most importantly, talking with my doctor about what breastfeeding would look like for me as a first time mom and how it would benefit my son. So to prepare me for this journey I asked my sister-in-law about equipment and her experience and the process. She had successfully nursed my niece and was currently nursing my nephew. I also joined Facebook groups for first time moms that were breastfeeding, and took a parenting class with my husband that taught us about the benefits of breastfeeding and the process.
I denounced the notion that black moms don’t breastfeed and I went on a journey with my son that was so fulfilling for us both. It taught me so much about my own resilience. It forced me to lean on God more in the beginning when it was challenging, painful, emotional and even stressful. But even more important, it provided the perfect nutrition for my son who had been born with a heart condition called Transposition of the Great Arteries, resulting in him having open heart surgery on 3rd day of life and spending 9 days in NICU. My liquid gold was just what he needed to help him heal then and even after we graduated from NICU. We had a successful journey of breastfeeding for 2 years! From our breastfeeding experience I gained more courage to do what isn’t comfortable or common, confidence in mothering my son, and a bond between the two of us that still shines bright today. Black Moms CAN and DO breastfeed! 🤱🏾
Black Moms Aren’t Stay-At-Home Moms! Lies! We are out here and growing by the number! Depending on what part of the world you stay in there may be more or less, but don’t believe the hype and lies told, there are black stay-at-home moms everywhere growing and thriving with their little ones. When we moved to San Antonio, my husbands and I had decided that we weren’t ready to put Duce in any daycare in a brand new city where we knew no one. I wanted to be home with my baby experiencing all of his amazing moments, and watching him learn and grow through these early years. For some, there is a shock that a woman with a career, degrees and experiences, would give it all up and walk away to stay at home with her child. However, for us stay-at-home mommas out there, it was and is the best decision we have ever made. Someone I love and admire told me when I was looking for child care, “You have all your life to work. Stay at home with your babies and experience those precious years with them. You can’t get them back once their gone. You are the best person to care for them.” I’m so thankful for those words, as they encouraged me to do what deep in my heart I knew was best for by baby.
I have found a couple of communities of stay-at-home mommas that have supported me on this journey, taught me so much about parenting, leaning on the Lord and choosing myself in order to be the best for my children. What’s even greater is that I have found a community of other black moms who stay at home with their children and raise them well! We exist y’all! We are all just one search or click away on your favorite social media sites. If you haven’t found a group, be bold and fearless; step out there and create your own. We as stay-at-home mommas need those physical present relationships and community to lean on one another as we cruise through the journey of motherhood. Had you told me 5 years ago I would be a stay-at-home mother, I probably would have laughed and said “yeah right!” I loved teaching and planned on using those degrees! Funny thing is, I am still teaching and using those degrees…with my boys! They get my best and definitely deserve it more than any other student in a classroom. Black Moms CAN and ARE Stay-at-home Moms!👩🏾🦱💙🧑🏾🦱🧑🏾🦱
Black Moms Don’t Homeschool! YES WE DO! We are thriving all over the world, homeschooling our children, turning them into teenage scholars, entrepreneurs, chemists, college graduates, authors and more! Almost a year ago, I started exploring with my husband the idea of me homeschooling Duce. We have been so concerned with how the world has impacted the education system and classroom experience as a whole. We were looking at how we could shape, mold and educate our children with the Christian principles we have been taught and walk out everyday, in a world that turns it’s nose up against it or waters it down. In a world that holds our children back because they’re intermediated by their intelligence and are quick to criminalize them at an early age, streamlining them through the school to prison pipeline. A black male in the public school system is like the modern day scarlet letter. As an educator I wanted more for my son, knowing his potential and the frightening setbacks and prejudices he may experience in the school system from my own experiences with my former students. As a mom, I wanted my son to be able to learn and explore in the most limitless and thrilling environment that exists. So why not me?! My husband and I said yes to each other for adventuring out on this journey, but most importantly we said yes to our boys! Because we want what is best for them as they grow, learn and explore through education.
And let me tell you! Us homeschooling moms are alive and well! I have also identified Facebook communities that not only encourage black moms who homeschool, but also provide resources, experiences and advice in order to ensure success for our babies. My degrees and experience already made me confident that I could do this, but that isn’t required or necessary. Black moms all over the world are homeschooling with no teaching degrees or credentials. There are also homeschool curriculums out there that are free and/or a small fee and co-ops to get your children involved and engaged with other homeschooled children. The possibilities are limitless for you and your children. Black Moms DO Homeschool! 🏡📚👩🏾🏫
I remind myself daily that I can do all things through Christ that’s strengthens me (Philippians 4:13) as I conquer homeschool my toddler and nursing my baby in my own authentic stay-at-home mommy journey. Tough days exists and so does doubt, but I am encouraged by the Holy Spirit that I serve a stronger and mightier God that gives me all the strength and knowledge I need to be the best mom for my boys. So be strong and courageous in your abilities and desires to do what others may say you can’t for your self and your children! You got this! And God has you! (Joshua 1:9)💜
In future posts I will share the intricacies of these experiences. I would love to hear from you in the comments, what stereotypes you have heard about what Black Moms can’t or don’t do and how you have shattered those stereotypes. Have questions about my experience? Ask away! I’m on the journey and am an open book full of experiences, willing to share!
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~Soli deo Gloria💜
Copyright © 2020 by Da’Quisha Whitaker
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the writer.