There is something about raising a boy that challenges me and gives me so much joy as a new mommy. When I found out I was pregnant, both my husband and I didn’t care what we were having as long as Baby Whitaker was healthy. So when people asked, “Are you excited it’s a boy? Did Brandon want a boy?” we always replied that we would be happy with whoever God blessed us with. When we saw him in all his glory on the ultrasound we were overjoyed! Suspense no more! So now we could choose a room theme and buy gender specific clothes and other necessities. And of course a name…which for us wasn’t that hard. 😄😄 We knew he would be a second (Brandon Isaac II, affectionately known as Duce) for a while if he was a boy, so now it was a matter of just calling him by name.
However, being an African American woman in the 21st century having a boy causes your heart to race and your mind to wonder many things. “Will he be called by his name or a derogatory term like ‘Nigger?'” “Will he live to be someone’s father if he gets a driver’s license and forgets to use a blinker or finds himself the victim of a police officer’s bad day and ego-trippin?” “Will he end up at the wrong place at the wrong time or find himself with a crowd not praised and doomed to an orange jumpsuit?” Most importantly to me as a mother, “Will he love Jesus like or even more than his mommy and daddy and be unashamed to tell the world?”
As a parent you never stop worrying from the day you find out you are carrying royalty inside of you to what I assume to be the day you die. Accepting that is the 1st step and a very hard one. Nevertheless, I had to remind myself of the God I serve, who provides protection and orders our steps. Who reminds mothers like you and me to “be anxious about nothing but pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all he has done (Philippians 4:6).” Some days are hard when I watch the news or scroll down my timelines of Facebook and Instagram, but I’m reminded of how much prayer works. Afterall, God healed my baby’s heart on the 3rd day of life from a heart defect that we knew nothing about for 40 weeks! (Think about those numbers…POWERFUL!) He has plans for my big boy Duce!
I say all of this to not only acknowledge that it is and will be hard to raise a young man in this world. But thank God I am not alone! With his father by my side and our Father walking with us along the way, our Duce will be just fine. I am committed to doing my part as his momma in many ways:
- I speak life into him daily: “You are STRONG, you are SMART, you are COURAGEOUS, and you have a BIG HEART!”
- I pray for him and thank Jesus for him EVERYDAY! Anyone could have been blessed to be his parents but God chose us!
- I tell him I love him MANY times a day.
- I kiss and hug him often. He will know and feel my undying love for him-never questioning my heart because he’s had it since the day I heard his heart beat.
- I tell him daily how much Jesus loves him and will protect and provide for him always.
These are things that abolish my worrying and anxiety for him, but also fills both of our cups up daily. My son is a very happy baby and I am truly blessed by that. He knows and feels our love and because of that is able to be his best self unapologetically daily. Whether that is happy, sad, clingy, fussy, silly, excited-he can be all of that and more and he knows and even more so feels that we love him the same.
We can’t change the world around us, nor lock our children up in our homes away from the hate, bigotry, violence and scrutiny. We can only equip them with the tools to be their best and love on them like there is no tomorrow.
“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked for (1 Samuel 1:27).”
~Soli Deo Gloria💜
Copyright © 2017 by Da’Quisha Whitaker
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