Mommying from the Heart

All the Emotions! All the Feelings…Motherhood!

Here it is 50 days into the new year…into my big boy Duce being 5 and I have to honestly say, that I am an emotional wreck!! He keeps growing and shining and I want nothing more than for him to stay my little baby forever! I know! I know! It’s unrealistic, but can a momma dream? In 50 days he’s turned 5, got vaccinated, glasses, started speech therapy, AND lost his first tooth! Yes! All of that! And can I tell you how amazing he has been with all of it?! He has truly taken it all in stride with so much positivity and optimism. Every day I am reminded of just how blessed I am that God chose me to be his momma!

As so many changes and growth are happening right before this very emotional momma’s eyes, I am reminded of what God says about change and growth. Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

So though I want to shed a little tear, beg God to make time slow down, and scroll through the thousands of pictures and videos of Duce as a baby, I’m not going to. Well..maybe not a lot. What I am going to do is PRAYthat God gives me the strength necessary to respond, love, teach and support Duce during these times of change. THANK GOD for the changes that are happening because it symbolizes growth that we all go through in our life as we become who God designed us to be. But also THANKING him that I am present to be able to experience these changes with him as a stay-at-home momma, not missing a thing! So thankful! So blessed! And definitely ASKING God for more grace, patience and compasion in Duce’s season of change.

Children all deal with change differently. As mommas, it is important for us to be mindful of their reactions during the changes and parent and love accordingly. If your child shows very emotional behavior that produces defiance, crying, complaining or the likes, then there is a good chance they are struggling with change and the lack of control they have. So though we want to stop the behavior and address it with consequences, we have to pause, pray, and ask for grace from God. Because the reality is, as things continue to change, children are forced to relinquish the control they thought they once had. And that’s hard! Even for us adults!

  • Get eye level with them and talk it out.
  • Show them other areas they have control in (picking out their clothes, choosing sports to activities to play, deciding on a snack, or what cool new glasses they get to wear, or the treat they will get after getting a shot, etc.)
  • Celebrate them for accepting the change
  • Check in with them over the next few weeks and months to make sure they are adjusting well to the changes.

Children who handle change well, like my little guy Duce, still require us as mommas to be present, praying, and seeking grace. Acknowledging the changes and how well they are handling them is important, even for our “mature” children who take changes with strides.

  • Get eye level with them and talk it out.
    • Talk to them about why the changes are happening and how it beneifts them.
  • Make them feel comfortable and empowered in the new changes with compliments and praise.
  • Celebrate them for accepting change.
  • Make a big deal out of the change and them accepting the change.

As you see in both cases, these tips can be used to support your little one in processing change. Here are some ways we handled the many changes Duce has experienced lately.

Vaccination

  • We did some pre-teaching a couple of days before (not too early because we didn’t want our little guy worrying or experiencing any anxiety)
    • Pre-teaching looks like talking about why he was getting vaccinated, how it benefits him and what the process looks like.
  • Reward on deck after vaccinations (both times!)
    • Control Opportunity: He got to choose his reward and of course it was candy! He clearly doesn’t get enough of it because I would have chosen a toy! lol

Glasses

  • This took a lot of research on my end in finding the right eye doctor that had a nice facility, did well with children and practiced safe santitation.
    • The office we found was wonderful and full of all the gagets that really made Duce’s first time at the eye doctor wonderful!
  • Patience! Patience! Patience! This was a long appointment, because they were so thorough. And although we wanted him to be perfect and get an A+, it was important that we allowed Duce to perform his best to get him what he needed…GLASSES!
  • Control Opportunity: He got to pick out his own glasses! And boy did he look cool!

Speech Therapy

  • We took Duce to see a speech therapist because he stutters sometimes when he gets excited.
  • Again, pre-teaching a couple of days before the appointment was really helpful
    • We discussed how the appointment is to help him be his best when he is speaking and how the therapist wants him to tell them all the amazing things about himself and what he knows.
  • For a 2 hour initial appointment, I have never seen a kid so happy at the doctor’s office!
    • He couldn’t stop talking about how much fun he had at the “Toy Doctor” and reminded me multiple times to call and schedule the next appointment.
      • I guess when you get to play toys with a therapist, read books and talking about things you enjoy, it makes for a party experience!

Losing His First Tooth

  • This happened sooooo fast! I swear we were NOT READY! But the tooth was! It was loose on Monday afternoon and fell out Tuesday evening!
  • Have a plan for the tooth and post tooth falling out experience.
    • We did not, and our little guys already had it in his mind that the tooth fairy was coming and he was going to get a surprise (Thanks PBS!)
  • I was shocked the tooth was loose and my reaction of excitement and shock scared Duce at first. Once I realized that I had to check my emotions and privot for the good of his emotions and how he would deal with it.
  • I supported him during tooth brushing, helping him to brush gently.
  • I let him wiggle his tooth and run to the bathroom and inspect as much as he wanted.
  • Control Opportunity: When it finally fell out he got a “TOOTH BUCK” from mommy and daddy that allowed him to choose a toy of his choice for his bravery!

What I hope you mommas take from all of this is, we aren’t the only ones that are emotional during these changing times. Our children are too. Whether it’s crying, meltdowns, extreme excitement, anxiousness, lots of questions, or busyness, it’s still an emotion. So address it with grace and love, talking about the experience, and feel free to cry when they’re in bed over a glass of wine, baby pictures and videos! No judgment over here momma!

Growing is crucial for us to become who God meant for us to be in this world. So grow on baby. Don’t mind me, I will get through it eventually.

🌟Shine Bright!🌟

~Da’Quisha💜

Copyright © 2022 by Da’Quisha Whitaker
All rights re served. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the writer.

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